♥nelly not cool, and break up was even more uncool.
Mrs Chow Bow Wow called me when I was still half asleep. She's naggy and draggy. And that's really a F for her. She's not my daddy. And the only people whom I think can nag at me would be my relatives and family members, that's all. She was shocked to receive my email the other day, and told me that I shouldn't have been so straightforward.Dearest Mrs Chow,
This is E-lis from 1C01 in your ITE class. I had no idea we had no more lessons next week. I intended to ask you about my in-class assignments. As I was using a different version of Microsoft office, which is 2003, you had no idea on how to help me with it, and said you would come back to me which you sometimes hardly did, because you were busy with the rest. I manage to do things on my own, but I was unaware that every time you checked it would be graded. I had always tried to ask you to come over to check my work, but somehow you would be checking others and forgot about checking mine. It happened quite frequent so I subsequently did my work but did not ask you to check. You sometimes check but you do not ask me for my name. I hope you would be able to help me give it a check, because I don't want to do badly for ITE and I would like to get a good GPA this semester. If you want me to show you the previous exercises again, please reply to me asap.
Thank you for teaching us this semester,
E-LIS, awaiting your reply
"I've never had such a nasty comment in my 18 years of teaching in Ngee Ann. Everyone has been saying that I am very patient and nice, and here you are saying that I'm not."
BITCH, I did say that you were busy so you couldn't attend to me in lesson, and I only wanted to know if all of my assignments had been graded or checked.
She said that I was a "bitchy student" indirectly, and that I didn't give a heck of her feelings. Like seriously, first nasty comment in her entire life? Goodness, the whole world behind her is cursing and swearing at her and she's doesn't even know. She's one dumb person. Middle fingers comes out when her back faces us, and people sniggering at her which could be heard from the other end of the classroom but she couldn't hear? Gosh, seriously, I think she was a hell of a crap. She expects me to suck up to her and say Mrs Chow is really good? And she knows how to do everything without hesitation? BULLSHIT. Even my friends can use Microsoft Office better than her. She had no idea how lousy she is. I just simply hate Information Technology module, because of her.
At around 1am in the morning, Weijie was on the verge of breaking, and he actually broke up with me without thinking of me. His reason was that he kept giving in to the relationship, that I kept on hurting him without considering his feelings. Maybe that was true, but at least I expect someone like him to pacify me when I'm pissed or angry or sad, but he doesn't, or at least he doesn't know how to.
But I still couldn't believe that the two words came out from him. Even I never thought of letting him go. And just because he couldn't take this small blow, he just...arghh.
I was crying my heart out the whole night, and there wasn't anyone for me to turn to. I was so glad that Amanda, Leedia and Gifford were there for me that time. Thank you so much. I had no idea how to stop myself from sobbing so badly, that I think my brother could hear it, but he wanted to let me be. I just couldn't believe it. I thought Weijie was going to regret and ask me back in hand. But he didn't. He insisted on the break up, and that he was willing to let this chance go by after much consideration. I sent him numerous messages filled with hatred for him leaving me, and made him sound like a bastard.
He still had not wanted to patch this hole in the blanket.
I just broke down again and cried even more. Even friends had been left there hanging talking to me and comforting me, asking me what happened. The more they showed their concern, the more I cried. I didn't have that nimble strength to move my fingers on the keyboard. I was sunken down into my skin and then my bone. I didn't want to think of anything and just sleep there.
I couldn't take it. I called him on my house phone. And when he answered, I just couldn't bring myself to stop and talk, I was crying with hiccups and stuff without a halt. I loved him. I couldn't bear this break up alone. He in turn started crying too. (At least we weren't wailing away) I needed to sober up and talk, but tears just kept rolling down my cheeks and I was choked each time I wanted to talk. He started talking and reasoning out with me. He was so sure about this break up this time, and I could sense it. He sounded like he'd never want to ever go back with me, that maybe this relationship was not IT for the last. I cried more and just said "nevermind, bye" and slammed the phone down. Things weren't going well, and exams are coming. How do I not take things like this in my stride and just not get distracted while studying or doing work? It's tough. Really tough.
I really stooped myself down without thinking, and decided to go against my dignity to call him AGAIN. I started wailing this time, and just went on like "I don't want". I begged him no matter what word came out of his mouth, that I wanted him to take his words back. He finally gave in, and the return receipt was not to hurt him again. But the instant he said that, the more I cried. I am so grateful for the given chance although I still felt that he was an asshole that time, but I will definitely treasure the relationship more.
Tiring as it is, my eyes were swollen like a bee stang it, and my nose was running like a tap. I had to continue adding things to the Interior Design Powerpoint, but I felt way better than hours ago.
I'm
talking champagne wishes and caviar dreams.
